I read somewhere that, by the time you reach your 40s, you should have found your ‘tribe’. I’m not sure that tribe is the right word to use here, but basically we’re talking about a group of like-minded people. So, if you’re into Lego (and c’mon, really, who isn’t?) then you can and probably should spend time with other people who like Lego – the idea isn’t exactly revolutionary, but I think there is something in it that is too often forgotten. Let me start off by explaining – for some students, their high school experience is the pinnacle of their lives. They’re popular, surrounded by friends and they don’t have a concern in the world. But for others, school is an ordeal. After all, where else in life (besides prison) do we force people from very different backgrounds, with different interests and values to associate for 6 hours every day, in groupings that we decide. It’s no wonder that school has become – or perhaps has always been – an intensely stressful experience for young people – as they struggle to find their way in a community that doesn’t seem to have place for them.
I’ve always had a space in my heart for the kids who are on the margins. The ones who are not sure where they fit in – the kids who like computers, or the kids who listen to the music that no one else does, or the kids that aren’t that fussed about soccer or rugby league or whatever else the A listers say is cool. And the best thing in the world is that, years later, you get the chance to see these kids again, when they’ve escaped from the artificial pecking order of school and flourished. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that they didn’t enjoy their time at school – I’m just saying that they were probably conscious that they were different in a way that their adolescent brains might have found difficult to explain – and that might have caused a bit of angst.
But later, they find their tribe, and suddenly, they develop into the adults that you always knew they were capable of becoming. Instead of worrying about other people, now they associate with those with similar interests – whether that be medieval role play, or film-geeking, or death metal. And that makes me happy – after all, surely the world is big enough for all of us to have our own enclave in it?